David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 27, 2010.
I don't know about you, but I was never great at saving money. The latest flat-screen TV, iPod or laptop always seemed to be calling my name. I tended to prefer short-term gratification over long-term security. Sometimes I approach recovery the same way. I take short cuts to avoid pain rather than take the longer route and learn a lesson I can put in the bank.
For example, when I've faced situations where I could be honest and accept the consequences or lie and avoid them, I might choose the former as the easy way out. So rather than bank an experience where I grew, I made a withdrawal by choosing the quick fix. The instant gratification.
Today I work to build my savings for a rainy day. I still spend when I shouldn't, but I actually think I'm in the black and not the red these days.
God bless,
David
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Giving it Away (from David)
David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 27, 2010.
One of my favorite mantras in 12-step programs is - We keep what we have by giving it away. At first blush it is counter-intuitive, but from my experience, it is incredibly true.
Working a successful program is hard work. It takes a daily (sometimes hourly) commitment to honesty, spirituality and self awareness. Three traits very foreign to most addicts. That certainly was true for me.
By nature, addicts are selfish people. Again, that went doubly for me. By contrast, recovery is about sharing with others. Sharing our experience, strength and hope. Sharing our joys and pains. As I've grown in recovery I've found that it is through this sharing that I gain the most. When I share my successes I'm reminded of the benefits of recovery and the gifts I receive everyday. When I share my failures it reminds me that recovery is about progress not perfection.
The more I give the more I get. Talk about an incentive! Keep on giving!!
God bless,
David
One of my favorite mantras in 12-step programs is - We keep what we have by giving it away. At first blush it is counter-intuitive, but from my experience, it is incredibly true.
Working a successful program is hard work. It takes a daily (sometimes hourly) commitment to honesty, spirituality and self awareness. Three traits very foreign to most addicts. That certainly was true for me.
By nature, addicts are selfish people. Again, that went doubly for me. By contrast, recovery is about sharing with others. Sharing our experience, strength and hope. Sharing our joys and pains. As I've grown in recovery I've found that it is through this sharing that I gain the most. When I share my successes I'm reminded of the benefits of recovery and the gifts I receive everyday. When I share my failures it reminds me that recovery is about progress not perfection.
The more I give the more I get. Talk about an incentive! Keep on giving!!
God bless,
David
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Multiple Fronts (from David)
David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 13, 2010.
I've written about WWII and battles like Iwo Jima and D-Day. I so admire the men and women who fought for our freedom, and those who are doing so today.
As I read about these battles, I can't help but see some analogies to recovery and the battles we face. In no way do I think our efforts are equivalent to the sacrifices of the folks who risk their lives at war. Just that the strategies and tactics are somewhat analogous.
When planning D-Day, they attacked the Germans on many fronts and with many different types of weapons. From airplanes to battle ships to infantry and even spies behind the lines. The leaders tried to cover all their bases and weight the odds in their favor.
I have seen that for the best chance at recovery, we have to take the same approach. We have to attack it on many fronts and with many weapons. Spiritual, mental and physical fronts are all important. Weapons like 12-step programs, therapy and faith in action are all weapons we have seen work together to win battles and wars. WWII could have had a very different ending with just one weapon. So could your recovery.
God bless,
David
I've written about WWII and battles like Iwo Jima and D-Day. I so admire the men and women who fought for our freedom, and those who are doing so today.
As I read about these battles, I can't help but see some analogies to recovery and the battles we face. In no way do I think our efforts are equivalent to the sacrifices of the folks who risk their lives at war. Just that the strategies and tactics are somewhat analogous.
When planning D-Day, they attacked the Germans on many fronts and with many different types of weapons. From airplanes to battle ships to infantry and even spies behind the lines. The leaders tried to cover all their bases and weight the odds in their favor.
I have seen that for the best chance at recovery, we have to take the same approach. We have to attack it on many fronts and with many weapons. Spiritual, mental and physical fronts are all important. Weapons like 12-step programs, therapy and faith in action are all weapons we have seen work together to win battles and wars. WWII could have had a very different ending with just one weapon. So could your recovery.
God bless,
David
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
How Far is Far Enough? (from David)
David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 13, 2010.
"To what lengths are you willing to go for your recovery?" I heard this question asked often during my first few years of recovery from drug addiction back in the 1980's. It was usually followed by some discussion of how far we were willing to go to feed our addiction and that if we put that same energy to our recovery we would have a great shot at success.
This was especially true for me then, and still applies today. I went to extreme lengths to nurture my addiction to pornography, chat and related activities. I lied to my wife, family and friends daily. I spent money without the knowledge of my wife. I stayed up days at a time to binge while my wife was out of town. I spent hours manipulating others to get my way. I was a machine programmed for addiction.
If I put that same effort into my recovery I have a chance. Do I go to meeting's every day for the first 90 days? Do I call at least one person in recovery each day? Do I work the steps? Am I rigorously honest with others and myself? Do I have a relationship with my higher power? Do I read daily? If not, do I take my recovery seriously? Only you and God know the answer.
God bless,
David
"To what lengths are you willing to go for your recovery?" I heard this question asked often during my first few years of recovery from drug addiction back in the 1980's. It was usually followed by some discussion of how far we were willing to go to feed our addiction and that if we put that same energy to our recovery we would have a great shot at success.
This was especially true for me then, and still applies today. I went to extreme lengths to nurture my addiction to pornography, chat and related activities. I lied to my wife, family and friends daily. I spent money without the knowledge of my wife. I stayed up days at a time to binge while my wife was out of town. I spent hours manipulating others to get my way. I was a machine programmed for addiction.
If I put that same effort into my recovery I have a chance. Do I go to meeting's every day for the first 90 days? Do I call at least one person in recovery each day? Do I work the steps? Am I rigorously honest with others and myself? Do I have a relationship with my higher power? Do I read daily? If not, do I take my recovery seriously? Only you and God know the answer.
God bless,
David
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Keys To Freedom (from David)
David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 11, 2010.
This whole incarceration thing continues to be a new experience every day. The rules, the food, the people are unlike my conventional life I left just a few months ago. But many of my experiences seem to be metaphors for the "old" life of my addiction.
When I'm transported between jails or to court I'm always shackled at my hands and feet. My hands in handcuffs which are attached to my body with a chain around my waist. My legs are in leg irons with about 18 inches of chain between the two so I can still walk. It dawned on me that these restraints were much like my old ways.
The leg irons are like my addiction, keeping me from making any real progress, holding me in place. The handcuffs are like the shame and guilt I felt every day, keeping me from reaching out for help.
Thankfully, the keys to these shackles, and my freedom, came with accepting Christ and working a recovery program. I'm freer now than I have been my entire life.
God bless,
David
This whole incarceration thing continues to be a new experience every day. The rules, the food, the people are unlike my conventional life I left just a few months ago. But many of my experiences seem to be metaphors for the "old" life of my addiction.
When I'm transported between jails or to court I'm always shackled at my hands and feet. My hands in handcuffs which are attached to my body with a chain around my waist. My legs are in leg irons with about 18 inches of chain between the two so I can still walk. It dawned on me that these restraints were much like my old ways.
The leg irons are like my addiction, keeping me from making any real progress, holding me in place. The handcuffs are like the shame and guilt I felt every day, keeping me from reaching out for help.
Thankfully, the keys to these shackles, and my freedom, came with accepting Christ and working a recovery program. I'm freer now than I have been my entire life.
God bless,
David
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
It's PAT (from David)
David sent me this blog post. It is dated January 11, 2010.
No, I'm not talking about the sexually ambiguous Saturday Night Live character made famous by Julia Sweeney back in the 90's. Rather, I'm talking about Patience, Acceptance and Tolerance. Three traits I've found invaluable this past year, but ones I've not always been able to practice.
Prior to last year I spent a great deal of my time frustrated at others. They were always too ignorant, slow or just plain annoying. This seemed to be especially true of those closest to me. My wife and our families consistently got on my nerves. Or at least I blamed it on them.
What I've discovered is that I was really the ignorant, slow and just plain annoying one. I was self-centered and selfish. I expected perfection from all, but only gave imperfection in return.
Today I find, via recovery and prayers, that I can be patient, accepting and tolerant of others because I have been given the same gift from God my entire life. I no longer see myself as perfect or the victim. I am flawed and must give others that same right.
It's funny how much smarter, faster and less annoying people have become since I've been in recovery. Go figure!
God bless,
David
No, I'm not talking about the sexually ambiguous Saturday Night Live character made famous by Julia Sweeney back in the 90's. Rather, I'm talking about Patience, Acceptance and Tolerance. Three traits I've found invaluable this past year, but ones I've not always been able to practice.
Prior to last year I spent a great deal of my time frustrated at others. They were always too ignorant, slow or just plain annoying. This seemed to be especially true of those closest to me. My wife and our families consistently got on my nerves. Or at least I blamed it on them.
What I've discovered is that I was really the ignorant, slow and just plain annoying one. I was self-centered and selfish. I expected perfection from all, but only gave imperfection in return.
Today I find, via recovery and prayers, that I can be patient, accepting and tolerant of others because I have been given the same gift from God my entire life. I no longer see myself as perfect or the victim. I am flawed and must give others that same right.
It's funny how much smarter, faster and less annoying people have become since I've been in recovery. Go figure!
God bless,
David
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