The Pegasus Secret. Part 1

For all of my wonderful loving friends that enjoy same-sex relationships…you know how much I love you and how much I’ve discussed my marriage with you. I love you. To everyone else who don’t know me; read all of the parts. You’ll soon discover – sexual orientation is irrelevant to me just as long as you’re not deceiving anyone.

The Pegasus Secret. Part 1

5 years ago when I ask my husband of 12 years, “Are you gay”? He answered, “No, I don’t think so”. I didn’t ask any more questions; despite 2 years of no sex. I didn’t want to pursue his very ironic answer. I wanted to go on with my life as I knew it. So I did.

After the kids were born, we lived life in Suburbia USA, with the perfect children – an heir and a spare and a beautiful lakefront home with gorgeous views of rare birds and 2 beautiful white swans. My “I don’t think I’m gay” husband relished in this fantasy world. He had the perfect job where he was not accountable to anyone and could leave everyday at 4pm, pretty much unnoticed. And that he did. After arriving home later than expected, I always asked him; “Where have you been, honey?” and he would smile gently and answer; “At the mall”. There were no packages, no receipts, not even a Slurpy cup. Who goes to the mall and doesn’t order a Slurpy…at least once??

I reflect back when my oldest son, who is now a confirmed sex addict, was first born, we only had one car. Most times, I could muster enough energy from the late night breast feeding to drive my “I don’t think I’m gay” husband to his “non-homosexual” perfect job. When it was time to pick him up in the afternoon; he was anxious to go home, have dinner so he can take his evening outing to the mall, just after I’ve put the baby down to sleep –preventing me from going with him.

Then the mornings after ear infections, baby throw-up or teething; he drove himself to work. I had no energy to drive him since I would be sleeping as long as my Terror Baby, ooops! – I mean that beautiful bundle of joy was quiet. Then 4:30pm would roll around; then 5:30pm, then 6:30; now dinner is cold and now 7 or so my “I don’t think I’m gay” husband arrives home. He would beeline to the baby without any eye contact with me. I ask him the ever obvious question, “honey where have you been?” I’ve been calling you? The answer was always, “he had to work late” and then immediately take a shower even though dinner was on the table. He had to take his non-gay shower.

On the days that I drove him to work…I would say to myself; OK, my wonderful “I’m don’t think I’m” husband is taking care of his new family; how dare I, he's working so hard; such long hours to give us a better life. So I must support him by staying busy between 4-7 so he can work late. However, like clockwork on these days when I had the car; he would call me…why haven’t you picked me up yet? Its 4:30; and I would reply “honey, I figured you have to work late”. Oh not today, sweetie, he would utter – not today, I’m ready to come (cum?) home now.

Then I confronted him. “Honey, when I have the car you want to be picked up on time. When you have the car, you always have to work late even though you never pick up your office phone?”

His answer? He changed his then predictable routine and told me I was probably bored being a stay-at-home mon and probably needed to get a job. To settle it all, he brought me a car – so now we wouldn’t have to share. Case closed. Discussion over.

Signed - The Holey Mother