Collateral Damage (from David)

David sent me this blog post. It is dated October 27, 2009.

David writes:

I've come to understand even more acutely that sadly my addiction and actions have harmed others more than they have harmed me. I look around me and see the damage the hurricane that was my life for so long has wreaked on my wife, my family, my friends, and even some people I never met.

Working my way from the outside in to the center of the storm, I harmed the children who were innocent victims of child pornography. This is something I never want to forget. I remember those sad, empty eyes and regret I contributed to the industry at all. I pray every day that God watch over them and use our work to help make a difference in their lives. I also caused considerable harm to my colleagues and business acquaintances. I made them question their trust in others and lived a lie for years.

My friends were harmed because I didn't let them know me. I had to hide who I was. I chose my addiction over them. It was my loss to be sure. But I wronged them.

As we enter the peak of the storm, we come to my family. My parents don't deserve the pain I put them through. Nor my brothers or in-laws. They put their trust in me, and I chose to live a selfish, self-centered life.

Finally, Hurricane David blew through the life of my wife, Lisa like Hurricane Katrina through New Orleans. I pray to God that I have the chance to rebuild our life together and make it storm-proof. Lisa, I know you forgive me, but I still regret the damage I have done. You are a saint. I love you!!

Now that Hurricane David has lost all his negative energy and we are focused on recovery efforts there is hope and the sun is shining again.

God bless,
David